


slow, unreckoning hearts

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angry Boyfriends, Angst, Drabble Collection, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Short Fics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-06 15:40:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1863255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Various short fics, prompt fills, drabbles, and vignettes about two angry boyfriends who fight hard and love harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. French Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Just moving some writing from my soon-to-be-deleted tumblr account onto here. Don't take any of these fics too seriously, it's just me writing about Jean and Eren as dorks in love.

Jean smirks when he catches Eren storm out of HQ and sees the familiar look of intense determination contorting the other boy’s features. He shakes his head before turning his head back to the horizon. It’s a soft, summery night, dark enough outside that the walls aren’t visible unless he really looks for them.

He doesn’t look for them. He prefers to pretend they aren’t there at all.

And the thought makes him smile because he’s starting to think he’s heard Eren preach about freedom and a world without Titans so damn much it’s starting to rub off on him.

"What are you doing?" Eren asks - or demands, rather, his tone almost indignant. The Captain probably did or said something that set him off and now he’s here with the intention of picking a fight because it’s not like he can stand up to Humanity’s Strongest. 

Jean sighs and feigns annoyance. “I was enjoying the peace and quiet.”

Eren’s frown deepens and he spins on his heels, ready to stomp off in the opposite direction but Jean rolls his eyes and grabs the back of Eren’s shirt before he can get anywhere. “Just tell me what’s bothering you,” Jean says, trying to sound annoyed but not quite hitting the mark. The fact of the matter is he likes Eren, likes and respects that he’s a stubborn pain in the ass who fights hard and loves harder and spends more time worrying about things than he’d like to admit.

"If you don’t take it out on me then you’ll just snap at Mikasa and both of us know that never ends well," Jean adds when Eren remains silent. He almost feels bad for bringing Mikasa into it, especially when he still knows next to nothing about whatever it is the binds the two of them together, but it’s the quickest way to get past Eren’s defenses.

It works. Eren deflates, heaving out a heavy sigh as his shoulders roll forward before he mutters, “Nothing.”

Jean lets go of his shirt and waits until Eren settles beside him to speak again. “I heard the Captain made you clean the showers five times.”

"Yeah," Eren grimaces and rubs the back of his neck. "The fifth time he stood in the doorway and watched. Didn’t say a word. He just fucking stood there. And glared.”

"What an ass," Jean scoffs and tries not to smile when he hears the surprised laughter burst from Eren’s lips.

"Don’t let him hear you say that."

Jean finds himself scanning the grounds despite himself. The Captain tends to turn up in the strangest places at the oddest hours, like the mere act of gossiping summons him like some kind of disgruntled spirit. He catches Eren’s gaze and smiles before both of them start laughing. And it feels good to laugh. Just like it felt good to talk about Marco, to have someone listen and understand.

A comfortable silence falls over them after their laughter dies down. Most of the other soldiers are either in the mess hall or the showers or already in their rooms and it’s quiet save for the chirping crickets and the horses in the stables.

"Jean?" Eren asks.

"Yeah?"

He hears Eren shift his weight from one leg to the other and scuff the toe of his boot on the ground, a nervous habit of his. It isn’t until he feels warm fingers wrap around his wrist that he looks at Eren.

"What is it?" he asks with a nervous laugh because Eren’s got that intense, determined look in his eyes and nothing good ever happens when he looks like that.

A flush rises to Eren’s cheeks and he looks away for a second before looking back at Jean. “I just wanted to—” he cuts himself off with a groan of frustration. He tugs at Jean’s wrist once, twice, three times before Jean finally figures out what the hell he wants and turns to face him. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” Eren admits.

"What are you—mmmf!" Jean makes a startled noise, stumbling backwards when Eren all but launches towards him. Eren misses his mouth, his lips landing on Jean’s cheek before he grabs the back of Jean’s head and tries again.

Oh, Jean thinks, somewhat deliriously. It has to be his first kiss. Either that or Eren’s been kissing some bad kissers because it feels less like a kiss and more like an assault as Eren wears and nibbles at his mouth with the same fierceness he does everything else. But despite the sloppiness of the kiss, Jean feels his pulse quicken at the feeling of Eren’s strong mouth against his.

Eren pulls away suddenly, his face contorted almost comically. “Am I doing it right?”

And Jean almost says, “No, you’re really not,” but Eren looks so damn earnest and good that he can’t bring himself to say the words. Instead, he tilts his head head and presses his mouth against Eren’s again, waiting until Eren relaxes before prodding his mouth open with his tongue. Eren makes a noise when the tips of their tongues touch, shuddering hard and pressing more firmly against him.

It doesn’t take long before Eren catches on, kissing with the same amount of enthusiasm but a little more finesse. And Jean smirks against his lips before coaxing Eren’s tongue in his mouth, sucking on it and feeling an unexpected jolt of pleasure at the sound of Eren’s muffled moan.

"Oi!" the Captain shouts from…somewhere, Jean’s too disoriented at the sudden interruption to know where. Eren jumps backwards like he’s been burned and slams his fist against his chest in an automatic salute. "Stop sucking face and get some fucking sleep. We have a long day tomorrow."

Jean waits until he hears a door slam. “What an ass,” he mutters before grinning like an idiot at the sound of Eren’s laugh.


	2. Ass Kisser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Eren almost have a mature conversation.

"Does it bother you," Eren begins and waits for Jean to look up from his report, "that I shift into a Titan?" 

Jean frowns and sits back in his chair, his brown eyes flicking up to the ceiling. A nearby clock ticks the passing seconds, punctuating the heavy silence.

"What do you mean?" 

"It’s not a difficult question to understand," Eren huffs. 

Jean rolls his eyes. “It’s not like I’m sitting here thinking, ‘Oh, wow, if Eren didn’t change into a Titan he’d be the total package,’ or something like that, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

"So…it doesn’t bother you." 

"It bothers me that it’s something that puts you a danger. You’re self-destructive tendencies are bad enough." Jean gives him a pointed look and Eren averts his gaze, a blush staining his cheeks. "The way other people treat you bothers me. It bothers me that you let them treat you that way. It also bothers me when you use the last of the shaving cream but don’t throw out the container.”  _  
_

"I don’t remember asking you to give me a list of all the things you don’t like about me," Eren says. He scowls, scratching at the table top with his fingernail. He knows without looking that Jean has that damn shit-eating grin on his face. "You ass," he mutters.

"No, it doesn't bother me that you turn into a Titan. At least not in the way I think you’re asking about. Titans aren’t bad because they’re Titans, they’re bad because they eat people. You don’t eat people," Jean explains and it sounds like it’s something he’s thought about before. 

"Well…not like that anyway," Jean adds in a smarmy tone and Eren snorts, crumpling up a piece of  of paper and throwing it at him. It clips his shoulder. 

"You’re an idiot." 


	3. Hickey

"Jean!" Eren exclaims, except it’s less of a  _Jean-you’re-totally-rocking-my-world-right-now_ and more of a _Jean-stop-because-my-asshole-superior-officer-put-me-on-latrine-duty-for-no-fucking-reason_ , which Jean is admittedly not a fan of. “I have to go.”

Jean sighs and stops sucking at the curve where Eren’s neck and shoulder meet. “We have five minutes,” he grumbles before switching to the other side because the taste of Eren’s skin, warm from the morning sun and slightly salty, is too hard to resist.

"You said that five minutes ago," he snaps as he tries to sit upright, almost throwing Jean off the bed in the process. 

Grunting, Jean grabs the other boy’s shoulders and rolls them so Eren’s back presses against the bed. He smirks, because as much as Jean hates to admit it, Eren kicks ass when it comes to hand-to-hand combat and no one pins Eren down unless Eren lets them pin him down. Which, while it’s not a traditional victory, is a victory nonetheless. 

"Well, we have five more," Jean drawls before returning sealing his mouth over Eren’s pulse-point and sucking at the supple flesh.

"I have to sort the-the…," Eren trails off and lets out this little sigh that’s soft and sweet and sends a jolt straight to Jean’s groin. "…the stuff," he finishes lamely.

"The stuff, huh?"

Eren groans out his name.

Much better, Jean thinks, but his triumph is short-lived because then Eren pushes him off all of a sudden and jumps to his feet. 

"I really have to go," he says and at least he sounds a little apologetic. "I mean, I want to but I also don’t want to start the day off on Levi’s bad side. The last time…"

And Jean stops listening, not because he doesn’t care about what Eren’s saying (although he will admit he is also not a fan of the shame-faced babbling Eren does whenever he feels guilty about something, which is pretty much all the fucking time) but because he sees a couple red marks appearing on Eren’s neck. Marks that Jean left behind, there for the whole world to see.

Jean decides he likes the sound of that too.

Eren must notice the wolfish grin almost halving Jean’s face because he stops talking and gives Jean a flat look. “What? Is there something on my face?”

Jean debates telling him but decides against it. “Nah,” he says, stretching out on the bed and lacing his fingers together behind his head. “You just look pretty good is all.”


	4. Found You

After spending an hour searching the halls for Jean, Eren finds him in the broom closet. Sleeping. 

He tries to muster some indignation, or annoyance, but he’s too sore from training and experiments and chores to put forth the effort. And though Jean sleeps upright with his back against the wall, he looks more comfortable and relaxed than he has in weeks. 

So Eren sits down beside him. Not so much because he wants to take a nap, but he likes the idea of hiding out for a bit. Having some time for himself. 

Jean makes a wordless sound beside him, shifting. 

Well. Sort of by himself. 

"You awake?" 

One brown eye opens, and Eren sucks in a breath when he sees the gold flecks. Were his eyes always like that? He leans in closer to get a better look. 

"Do I have something on my face?" Jean asks, voice thick and throaty with sleep. 

Eren blushes. “No.” He opens his mouth to say something about how Jean has some of the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen, but every variation sounds lame and not smooth at all. “Your breath stinks,” he says instead. 

Jean squeezes both his eyes shut and frowns. “Rude.” 

"Well…," Eren trails off. "You’re lucky you’re cute," he blurts. "You know. When you’re asleep." 

The corner of Jean’s mouth curls as he shifts closer to Eren. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he mutters, and Eren feels his pulse jump beneath his skin. “So you can just deal with the bad breath thing.” 

Eren swallows hard. “Okay.” 

And Jean kisses him. On the cheek, on the corner of his mouth, and then on the chin. It isn't until Jean makes a noise of frustration that Eren realizes he’s not doing it on purpose. 

"Where is your mouth?” Jean whines. 

Eren shakes his head before he cups Jean’s jaw and leans forward until their lips are just barely touching. “Right here, you idiot.”


	5. Just Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> has some spoilers for ch. 59 so don't read if you want to be spoiled!

Jean can’t remember the last time he measured time in hours and minutes. A minute feels like a lifetime now, and a hour damn well feels like an eternity. 

Now he measures life in breaths, in the short span of time between an exhale and an inhale, because it’s the only way he knows how to keep going. 

He thinks about the month between Trost and the 57th Expedition, how luxurious it seems in comparison.

Jean closes his eyes and leans his head back against the wall. He counts his breaths in an attempt to blank his mind from the onslaught of images, each one worse than the last. Staring down the barrel of a gun, into the frightened eyes of some woman intent to end his life.  _Exhale_. The look in Armin’s eyes after he pulled the trigger.  _In_ _hale_. That man who ended his own life in Trost, the smear of his blood on the wood floor.  _Ex_ _hale._ Marco.  _In_ _hale_. Eren. 

He opens his eyes. The room feels very quiet, though he hears the quiet murmurs of Mikasa’s voice, the hisses of Levi’s breath between his teeth and Sasha’s soft apologies. Connie catches his eyes and the corner of his mouth lifts, more of a grimace than the smile he intended. 

Jean releases a deep breath and pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket, the paper soft and worn from handling. After a cursory glance around the room confirms no one’s watching him, he unfolds it.

It’s a sketch of Eren. One of his better sketches, if not the best. He swallows the lump in his throat, remembering how long it took him to work up the nerve to ask him, and how Eren blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. Flattered, like it was a big fucking deal or something. 

He wonders what Eren would tell him now. He wonders if Eren would shout and wave his arms around and  _rage,_ or if he would give him a crooked, devil-may-care smile and give him a too-hard pat on the back. His chest constricts, and his vision blurs, because for the first time in his life he wants nothing more than for Eren Jaegar to march through the door and say some stupid optimistic bullshit to kick his ass into gear. 

Jean rubs his eyes until the sensation goes away, because the last thing he wants to do is start crying over a picture when the Captain’s no more than a couple yards getting stitched back together with little more than a grimace. He lifts his fingertips to his lips and then to the picture. 

_We’ll find you soon_ , he thinks,  _we’ll bring you back hom_ e. 

"Kirschtein." Jean looks up at the sound of his name to find Levi pulling his shirt back over his head. 

Blushing, Jean folds the paper and shoves it in his pocket. “Sir?” 

Levi frowns at him. “You…okay?” he asks, his words heavy and awkward. 

"I’m fine." Jean exchanges a look with Connie before looking back at the Captain, bewildered. "Just pissed, I guess." 

"Good." The Captain nods and marches off, and Jean thinks if he measures life in breaths then the Captain must measure it in the steps he takes. 

Jean takes a deep breath, bracing himself for whatever comes next. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> admittedly not my best work, but the prompt was "I miss you" kiss and I wanted to try and get creative, and...well...this happened.


End file.
